I have received several requests to post the "Play on Words" puns and such that I gave in one of my talks at this past weekend's Spring Leadership Convention. These are not original, to be sure, but funny!
I changed my iPad's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Benign: What you do after you be eight.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
Catscan: Searching for kitty.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not a friend (understatment!)
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Hangnail: What you put your coat on.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor: More than one.
Varicose: Near by.
Hope you enjoyed these! Feel free to comment with more!