I
was busy in my home office one morning when my wife Terri walked in with one of
my sons, the nine year old. The
bottom lip was quivering, anger and frustration were bubbling up, crying had
obviously been taking place, and the fight to maintain composure was about to
be lost. And my son didn't look
much better, either! Obviously,
this was a moment for the wisdom and strength of Dad. The only problem was the complexity of the situation. As it was explained to me I tried to
keep track of the winding trail of what had happened, looking for motive and
things to correct. By the end of
the explanation I was as flummoxed as my wife. So much for the wisdom of Dad! What unfolded was an
elaborate web of emotional conflict that was not necessarily intentional. It was really just the collateral
damage of a young Rascal unsure how to use the powerful Rascal weapons with
which he'd been born. I said a
quick prayer and did my best to "seek first to understand," as
recommended by Steven Covey. After
my son had completed his nine-year-old style explanation I quickly attempted to
organize the affair in my mind.
Finally I was able to piece together about four areas for constructive
discussion. Overall, though, I
wanted to make an impression that would hit home. I wanted this incident to be a teaching moment through which
my young buck could grow. Finally,
I lighted upon what I felt to be the key concept. It was simple, really, and it cut through all the emotion
and confused jumble of facts.
"What
this really comes down to, son," I said, "is the decision of how to
use the many gifts you've been given.
You are charming, charismatic, persuasive, influential, attractive,
funny, athletic, and powerful (taking after his Dad). But what you are going to have to decide is whether you are
going to use all that to become a force
for good, or if you're going to become a selfish jerk like almost everybody
else." As we finished the
conversation I realized my son's situation had simplified the position in which
we all find ourselves. We've all
been blessed beyond comprehension.
We've all got a list of gifts we've received just as impressive and as
powerful as my son's. The key question, though, is how we are going to deploy them?
