Author Chris Brady's Blog

Goal Setting vs. Goal Sitting

It's that time of year again. People rush to join health clubs, open savings accounts, buy Nicotine gum, and a whole host of activities intended to improve themselves, break the habit, turn the corner, clear the hurdles, and get the proverbial monkeys off their backs. In some ways this frenzy of good intentions is a bit humorous, tied to the start of the new year and all. Why is it that January 1st evokes such a wave of well meaning misfires? Why not July 1st, or September 28th? Why not every day?

I offer the theory that there is nothing special about January 1st itself, rather, it merely serves as a good place to play such a game because we like deadlines, love milestones, and look to build the drama of everyday events into something bigger and therefore more meaningful. We love the idea that we are actually going to take responsibility for outcomes and actually force ourselves to change - this time. Tradition also has its pull; we are convinced that because "everyone else is doing it" or "people have always done it," we should be participating too.

Maybe it's unavoidable, this gravitational pull toward New Year's Resolutions. So why fight it? Perhaps the best course of action (and I can hardly believe I'm writing the words) is to line up with everyone else and set some 2011 goals for ourselves. After all, Rascals are all about growing and improving, and maybe it's just that this time of year is the one time when the crowd lines up with us.

So how can we set goals that won't disappear faster than a politician's promise? First, let's cover the basics, which are given more depth of treatment in Orrin Woodward and my book, Launching a Leadership Revolution. 

1. Goals must be specific

2. Goals must be written down

3. Goals must be set in stone

4. Goals must be measurable

5. Goals must be realistic

6. Goals must provide motivation

7. Goals must be in line with priorities and values

8. Goals must be prominent

9. Goals must have a specific time period

And now for some subtle nuances that will help make your 2011 goals more achievable:

1. Don't set too many goals. Sometimes we can overwhelm ourselves with too many things on which to focus at once. We want to loose weight, build muscle, stop a bad habit, improve in this area, move ahead in that. We take a look at ourselves and see so many areas for improvement that we are tempted to attack them all at once. Resist this temptation. Select one (or at the most two), and hammer away at it with all your ability. Focus is the key.

2. Take immediate action. Goals are actually quite easy to set; the process is painless, quick, and costs nothing. Where the fins hit the water is when we take action toward their fulfillment. Action convinces our subconscious minds that we are serious. It begins patterns that can form into productive habits. So allow no time to lapse between the setting of a goal and the first steps toward its attainment. Remember: time kills all deals, and this includes deals you make with yourself. So get moving, and do it immediately.

3. Set rewards and correspondingly deny yourself. One of the most effective methods for gaining leverage over ourselves is to set up a reward system that encourages correct and discourages incorrect behavior. (Also, it should go without saying that such a reward/denial system should align with the goals set.) For instance, let's say your goal is to lose that last 15 pounds. An action plan might involve joining a health club, working out three to four times a week, and managing your caloric intake. So far so good. The reward system might look like this: DENY yourself any baked goods whatsoever until Sunday, at which time, if and only if you were successful throughout the week, you REWARD yourself with a treat. Now, I am not a weight management specialist. Perhaps this is a stupid idea physiologically. I don't know (and I don't care). The point is that self-denial can be used to encourage correct actions, which are then rewarded in small but non-destructive ways. 

4. Align your environment. Changing things in our inward lives almost always requires making changes in our outward lives. Much of the time our environment, if not entirely responsible, is at least an accomplice in who we are, what we do, and how we behave. If you hang out with a bunch of people doing a certain activity and yet you've vowed to refrain from that activity, guess what? Your association with those people is going to have to come to an end, at least in large part. If you're trying to lose weight but you hold your daily company lunches at Krispy Kreme's, you might want to rethink your geographical tendencies. You get the idea.

5. Track progress. We need encouragement like a newspaper needs crises. One of the best ways to encourage a correct behavior in ourselves is to track and take note of progress, no matter how miniscule. Seeing improvement, noticing some advancement, are fuel in the tanks of self-improvement and change.

6. Keep the big picture in mind. Most of our worthy goals are anchored to our ideals. Our new goal fits some higher picture we hold of ourselves and some loftier concept we'd like to make reality. Keep this in mind. View it continually and remember the deepest reasons for setting the goal in the first place. Remember: it's hard to get down when you're constantly looking up.

So those are the guidelines and the nuances for goal setting. At a time of year when everyone seems aligned to better themselves in one way or another, there is no shame in joining the crowd (just don't get used to it). Sadly, though, you won't be with the crowd for long. They'll fall by the wayside like the wimpy kids at football tryouts. They'll set their goals and then sit their goals. They'll set high expectations and then sit down in the dumps. But not you. Now you are armed and dangerous. You've been given all you need to not only properly set a goal, but to hit it as well. I'll see you at the health club. 

 

 

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I would like to give a special thank you to Online Schools for selecting this blog to be among its ten recommended leadership blogs. May the students of Online Schools find something uplifting, encouraging, edifying, or at least entertaining as they join the readership of this blog. Lead on!

To Know and Still Glow

She wasn't exactly keeping up with me. I turned, amidst the crowd, to discern why. A moment's glance contained the explanation: she was trying to walk on the tiles of a certain color while dodging the rest. "Do it with me, daddy!" she gushed. And I couldn't help but comply. It didn't matter that we were surrounded by a hundred busy travelers eagerly making their way around us in the world's busiest airport, this was one of those moments you just don't miss.

On three flights she sat confidently in her chair awaiting takeoff while singing beautifully made up words and melodies. 

She also filled my head with questions. Most I would try to answer, until she dug deeper with "why?" and "how come?" Usually these were directed at the strange behavior of adults as seen through the eyes of a seven year-old, and, usually I was reduced to inadequate answers.  

She heard things I'd long tuned out, saw things to which I'd grown blind, and discerned things that never would have occurred to my frenzied mind. She was bright, big-eyed, cheery, and alert. She was playful, positive, hopeful, and carefree. She was happy, inquisitive, demonstrative, and content. In short, she was everything the adults around her were not.

Have we lost so much? I asked myself. The distance between her perspective and our adult reality was enormous. Sure, you could say, she doesn't yet know about how people can treat one another, how unfair the world can really be, how the pain of loss or tragedy can sting, how the hurtful actions of others seem to remove something from deep inside us that doesn't get replaced, how lies prevail on the open airways, how evil appears to flourish, how systems and cartels and constructs seem to grow in strength in conspiracy against the simple, good, and holy. She doesn't know about legal procedures, corporate hog-wash, fine print, buzzwords, punching a clock, political gamesmanship, back-channeling, gossip, back-stabbing, libel and slander, taxes, government scandal, and the encroachment of political correctness which is anything but what it suggests.

Then it occurred to me that much of what makes her so alive is what she doesn't know - and therein lies the trick: To make our way upward in age without sinking correspondingly into cynicism. In essence, to know and still glow.

I know God is on the throne. I have the true, deep joy that only faith in Christ can bring. I'm not talking about an absence of that (though I can't figure out how those without Christ in their lives don't fall into complete despair). Rather, I'm talking about the friction of adult living that sands the cheeriness off of us, dimming the brightness, suppressing the playfulness, and parking our light under a bushel. If only we could find a way to stay closer to that original spark of wonder and awe. If only we could retain a bit of that perky positivity.

I don't have all the answers here, to be sure. Even considering that fact that I might be helplessly self-deceived (and who isn't?), thinking that I'm a pretty positive, fun-loving guy; that time with my daughter illustrated to me how far I'm removed from the best of child-like faith and wonder. So I thought about it, and then I thought some more, watching her. If I may be so bold, allow me to make some suggestions to us all on how to retain a bit of that childhood spark, or bring it back. Just because we are grown-ups doesn't mean we have to be shriveled-ups or given-ups. What if we all:

1. Assumed that everyone we met was interesting and nice?

2. Entertained ourselves with playful games and songs at the most inopportune times?

3. Asked questions like we didn't know the answers, and didn't care who thought what of our questions?

4. Smiled as a knee-jerk response to almost anything that came our way?

5. Looked to each new person as a new friend?

6. Got excited about approaching holidays?

7. Gazed in wonder at something tiny?

8. Gasped in amazement at something mighty?

9. Giggled heartily at something funny?

10. Cried sincerely at something sad?

11. Prayed fervently for something only God could do?

12. Told others "I love you" in heartfelt spontaneity?

13. Tried to make up jokes for the sheer joy of seeing someone else laugh?

14. Made sounds to entertain ourselves?

15. Invented games out of the simplest situations and/or materials?

16. Had a clear understanding of right, wrong, and fair?

17. Had a strong desire for the comfort of family togetherness?

18. Made crafts and art for the sole purpose of giving them to others?

19. Had almost no consideration for the passing of time?

20. Truly wanted to help those who are worse off than ourselves?

Who among us hasn't seen the above behaviors exhibited by children? Better yet, who among us wouldn't like to return to at least some of them?

Just because we're adults doesn't mean we have to act like it! We can know, we can grow, but we can still glow! It won't come naturally, but we can retain some of what they have to teach us even as we're so busy teaching them to be like us. Perhaps we should make it a bit more of an even, two-way exchange!

(For these suggestions I'd like to thank my children, who provided them without having to say a word. You show me more about how to live every day.) 

Reading for Lifetime Growth

It was a book by Donald Trump I'd picked it up because I had a strong desire to conquer the "money thing." The best I can remember, it was the first book after college I read on my own compulsion. I wish I could say that it sparked a hunger for lifetime learning, but alas, either Donald wasn't that compelling, or I wasn't ready, but it accomplished nothing. Next I remember reading part of a book on US Presidents and their secret wars. Next came an insider's account of the Mafia. Broad, unfocused, and spanning at least a couple years, this reading was seasoned with a heavy dose of motorcycle magazines.

It wasn't that I couldn't read. It wasn't that I didn't like to read. It was just that nobody, anywhere, at any time during my six years and two degrees of education had ever gotten it through my skull (nor even tried, truth be told) that reading is one of the most important habits for lifetime growth. At best, I considered reading to be a pastime, something one did on the beach, airplane, or at moments of boredom. At worst, I considered it a waste of time. What could possibly be beneficial about sitting around reading when one could be out doing?

Then my business association with Orrin Woodward began and he and other business leaders taught me the importance of a self-directed education. I learned that the right kind of reading isn't a pass-time, but rather one of the best routes to fulfilling our natural hunger for gaining understanding, insight, and perspective. I also learned that although passive in appearance, reading is one of the activities that most awakens the brain, thereby ultimately leading the person to action - the best kind of action - the kind controlled by clear thought. In effect, reading correctly and with a purpose becomes a strategic weapon in a competitive world. Let's face it: it's the Information Age. Without the right information properly applied, one cannot hope to compete. There will simply be too many others willing to do the work to learn what they need to know to excel instead. In short, one of the biggest secrets to high achievement in life is to make reading your weapon of preparation.

I could go on, but my goal here is not to convince you of all the advantages of reading. Instead, I'd like to draw a distinction for you: don't simply read, study. Here are some suggestions for making your reading much more effective:

1. Read the right kinds of books, with the specific intent of improving yourself as a person. You can (and probably should) read certain books just for their entertainment value. But these should be seasoning, sprinkled in among the more edifying works.

2. Read about both the principles and specifics in the area of your profession, vocation, or passion (blessed is the person who aligns all three).

3. Read broadly across many genres. Allow me to recommend some categories: Leadership (of course), Success, Theology, History, Economics, the Classics, Politics and Freedom, Finances and Investing. 

4. Be reading through several books at any given time. This keeps any one author's voice from becoming too tedious and extends the amount of time you can read and stay fresh and engaged.

5. Devour your books. Underline passages, make notes in the margin, summarize key thoughts, outline important points in the blank pages at the back, etc. In other words, make the book your own. Adding all these markings draws a deeper understanding as you read the book the first time, provides a succinct summary to review before putting the completed book back upon the shelf, and makes future reference much easier.

6. Ask yourself for each book read: What were the author's key points and how can I apply them to my life right now?

7. Write the date you begin reading a book inside the front cover.

8. Keep a journal that includes a list tracking the books you've read. Record the title, author, genre, and date you finished reading each book. This allows, in one glance, a quick indication of the size and scope of your reading.

9. Promote books to others and help people solve problems and improve their lives by directing them to the books that have provided answers you've found helpful.

10. Make reading a priority. Eliminate the 'good' activities from your crowded schedule and make room for the 'great.'

One may be tempted to think that a list such as this represents a lot of work. I would like to suggest that nothing could be further from the truth. As the saying goes, "If you love what you do, you'll never work another day in your life." What you will discover is that reading of this calibre becomes an enjoyable passion all its own. That's because it will apply directly to improving your thoughts, knowledge, and understanding. It will increase your prowess and attitude. It will inspire you to dig deeper into mysteries and areas totally dark to you previously. One great book will lead to another. One deep insight will lead to further break-through thoughts and distinctions. Reading to the point of study will become a habit for lifetime growth, and a sustainable advantage few will ever match.

You don't have to believe me. As a matter of fact, I don't expect you to. If you are anything like I was as a young man, you've dabbled in a book or two and can barely relate to what I'm positing in this article. This is one of those things, however, where "try it, you'll like it" rings true. Dig in. Start reading with a purpose. See for yourself how it develops into a passion. Watch the progress you'll make in life. Not only will you be hooked - you'll be hooked up. You'll be joining the "great conversation' among the strongest thinkers, the deepest probers, and the loftiest dreamers of the human existence.