Author Chris Brady's Blog

The Ten Financial Danger Zones

The following excerpt was taking from the book, Financial Fitness, written by co-author, Chris Brady.

There are some financial problems you need to beware of: the danger zones of personal finance. Specifically, there are ten things that are probably the most dangerous moments in someone’s financial life. Whenever you get near any of these ten things, stop, think about it, disengage your emotions, and engage your logic because all of these are thin ice.

1. Taxes – Make sure you get a good tax adviser because the tax code can be pretty complicated. Never break the law. Never skate the edge. But make sure you understand the tax laws so you don’t waste a bunch of money that you’re not required to pay.
2. Home Ownership – We have been taught that homes are great to own. Maybe that is true for some people in the right circumstances, but being a homeowner is one of the most expensive things you will ever do. Not only is the upkeep a significant expense, but property taxes and insurance are very costly. In societies with weak or struggling economies, increased property taxes will be one way that cities, municipalities, and other local governments attempt to stay afloat. And despite popular myths, homes do not always go up in value. This was the big idea that got popped during the last housing bubble. Many people have found themselves upside down on their homes, meaning they owe more than the home is now worth. This is a bad place to be. It is not our advice to own a home, or to avoid owning a home, but rather to be very wise. Do not make the mistake of seeing your home as a major investment, and think through the financial ramifications before you buy.
3. Divorce – Don’t divorce him! Don’t divorce her! Work it out! If you don’t, it is going to cost a lot of money. Of course, you need to do what is right for you and your family. Our point is simply that this can be a very dangerous financial move, so think it through from all angles. It might be the most expensive thing you ever do.
4. Credit Cards – Many people need to stay away from credit cards. We discussed this earlier in the book, several times in fact, but if you have not yet followed our advice, then (for crying out loud) put the plastic back in the wallet. Cut them up. Get rid of the things. Freeze them. Lock them up. Just stop using them. Credit cards are fine for people who have proven their ability to be disciplined with their finances. But for those with challenges in this regard, this warning is properly aimed.
5. Lawsuits – They are very expensive, and they can distract from your work, business, family, and other important facets of life. If you are living the principles of financial fitness, you will have the best and only real preparation for lawsuits: savings and financial discipline. Avoid lawsuits whenever possible, and never look at them as a way to gain something financially.
6. Uninsured Accidents and Sickness – Look, we know this is a tough world. But we have literally seen people cancel their health insurance because they “can’t afford it.” Yet they have tons of credit card debt, a flat screen TV, recreational vehicles, fancy cars, boats, etc. Get yourself some insurance. Sell some stuff. Walk around in a barrel in you have to! Get insured, even if it is just major medical insurance that kicks in if you have a big emergency. Protect yourself and your finances. Too much insurance is a waste and too little is a risk. Avoid both extremes. It is wise for people to look into getting the following kinds of insurance: home/rental, car, major medical, life, disability, long-term care, and identity theft protection. Also look into what insurance is needed for your kind of business. Protect your assets.
7. Status Living – Having to keep up with the Joneses (or the Zhangs, as they increasingly say in China) can really kill your financial fitness. If you haven’t noticed, the Joneses are probably broke. Following their example is bad for your finances. Actually, to tell the truth, the Zhangs are spending only a little and saving a lot. Keeping up with the Zhangs, and not the Joneses, is a really good idea. To repeat what we already said: Stop buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t even like.
8. College Education – We use the word “education” kind of lightly, depending on what college and where you go. College has become ridiculously expensive, partly because of all the scholarships given out, but mostly because of the ease with which kids can get government loans. This tends to drive the whole market price up. Be very careful that you get what you pay for. Take some time to think it through before you plunk down all that hard-earned money on a college just for reputation. Turn on your analytical brain, and treat it like an investment. Either make sure you (or your kids) get trained in something that will really bring the return you want, or focus more on getting a great education and less on getting a degree. To be clear, we think you should get a truly excellent education. This is one of the most important investments you will ever make. We just don’t believe this happens in college as often or as well as many people expect it to. If you do choose college, be sure you get the education you really want—or go and find it elsewhere. Note that the costs of college rise about 8% annually, while statistics show that the cost of a college education isn’t a very good investment anymore. A large percentage of people never work in the field of their degree, but they leave school with thousands of dollars in student loans. Ironically, as schools focus increasingly on narrow job training instead of broad education, people are getting less in the way of education and also using their expensive degrees less after graduation. For example, 85% of people who graduated from college in 2011 were unable to find a job and moved back in with their parents. Even more stayed away but still could not find good employment. It is increasingly common to find people with prestigious college degrees working in menial or fast-food jobs. Peter Thiel, the billionaire co-founder of PayPal, recently offered a number of $100,000 grants to students who were willing to drop out of college and start a business. Many top leaders are increasingly seeing college as a waste of time. As college becomes more expensive and less valuable, we expect to see more such alternatives that work for people better than college. Again, if you do go to college, focus on your education— not the conveyor belt requirements of the system.
9. Addictions – Very often when we talk to people and they have some serious holes in their finances, we find out there is some type of addiction behind the scenes. Fight those off. Get professional help. Get treatment. As tragic as these things are personally and to the family, they are also just as bad financially. Clean up your life.
10. Investments – The rule on investing is “buyer beware.” If those seeking your investment need your money, they do not qualify for it. If you don’t retain 100% control of your money, you are going to lose a whole lot of it; we promise. We have learned this through sad experience. The best investments are found on the YOU, Inc. Investment Hierarchy. About 95% of North Americans should not be in Kiyosaki’s “I” quadrant, which is investors only. Most should be in the “B” (business owner) quadrant. Those who try to become investors too soon are usually trying to invest like millionaires while earning like the middle class. This is the opposite of the real goal, as discussed earlier: to earn like a millionaire and live like the middle class. Also, amateur investors generally get slaughtered by the professionals.

Be very, very careful as you make decisions about the danger zones: taxes, home ownership, divorce, credit cards, lawsuits, insurance, seeking status, college, addictions, and investments. Get good advice from your financial mentors, and study things in detail before taking action.

As you become financially fit, do your best to avoid the financial danger zones, and be extremely careful as you make decisions when they do present themselves.

Effective Public Speaking - Part 2

The following excerpt was taken from SPLASH! A Leader's Guide to Effective Public Speaking. [Introduction written by Chris Brady]

Beginning public speakers usually think there are three main types of speakers: good, bad, and somewhere in between. Advanced speakers—those who really know how to read every crowd, speak to each person’s heart and mind in a way that moves them deeply, and leave the listeners forever changed.

For top leaders, public speaking is about SPLASH!

In truth, splashes are amazing. They cause immediate waves, followed by a lot of ripples. And in the process, many people get wet or even muddy. If you’ve ever visited Sea World and watched the giant splashes from the whales arch far into the sky and then drench a stadium full of people, you know what a successful speech is all about.

In fact, if you watch a Sea World crowd, even the people far up in the top bleachers, who don’t get a drop of water on them, react to each huge splash by jerking backward, covering their faces, and acting in other ways as if the wave were coming right at them.

Every drop from a big splash causes a series of ripples. People go home and share what they learned and, even more important, what they felt. SPLASH speaking is an essential part of what we call Level 5 Leadership: developing leaders who develop leaders.

Indeed, the memories created by effective SPLASH speaking endure for a lifetime.

Just think of the best speech you've ever heard. Picture the event in your mind. Did you hear it in a stadium, at church, in the car, or somewhere else?

What made it so great? Was it the ambiance? The lighting and cheering? The message? An electric energy in the room? The force of nature that seemed to emanate from the speaker? The notes you took and how they changed you later? A specific quote or phrase that seemed to switch on a light bulb in your mind? Or something else?

Whatever your answer, one thing is certain. Great speeches, SPLASH speeches, leave you different than you were before you heard them. You feel something, and the feeling has a lasting impact on you and your life. The ripples of what you felt and learned during the speech continue in your life long after the big waves have come and gone.

Beginning speakers often try to “break the ice” by using jokes, visual aids, gimmicks, or other techniques to pique the interest of the audience. Top leaders know that there is a better way, that in fact, gimmicks are really just gimmicks and that the same joke or visual aid will be mediocre when used by a struggling speaker but burn a lasting memory when employed by a great speaker.

It’s not the techniques, it’s not just the preparation, and it’s not even the message that matters most. It’s the SPLASH that causes real change, that leaves listeners different, that ignites those in the crowd and sways their future.

So what exactly is SPLASH? In addition to symbolizing how to become a speaker who touches every person in the audience and leaves a lasting memory, SPLASH is an acronym for the following guidelines of truly effective speakers:

Say something that matters.
Prepare the speaker, not just the speech.
Leave it all backstage.
Audience is everything.
Simplicity is power.
Happen!

Note that SPLASH speakers aren’t born; they’re made. It takes effort, practice, and repetition to become a great speaker. Sitting in an audience listening to a world-class speech, it is easy to get the false idea that the speaker is just plain gifted. Certainly, there are people with various gifts that help their public speaking, but nobody ever became an excellent speaker without hard work.

For example, attend a professional football game or a nationally recognized orchestra performance, and you’ll be amazed at how some of the athletes and musicians make their work seem so simple. But what they do is actually far from easy. If you knew the long years of practice, workouts, lessons, failures, struggles, sweat, and effort that brought them to this moment, you’d be amazed.

Any true success is built on a genuine foundation of intense and consistent work.

The same is true of great speakers. That said, understanding SPLASH will help you fast-forward past years, even decades, of trial and error.

Mentoring is incredibly powerful for this very reason: An experienced mentor can help you jump ahead by applying his wealth of experience and skipping many hurdles along the way. 

If you begin applying the principles of SPLASH speaking right now, today, your public speaking will start improving by leaps rather than baby steps.

There is an old saying that “practice makes perfect.” This is actually only partially true. The reality is that the right kind of practice makes perfect. In other words, practicing skills incorrectly tends to lessen them and reduce your effectiveness.

Those who apply the principles of SPLASH speaking can start practicing the right way, and this will drastically accelerate their learning curve. Moreover, if you have ever stressed about public speaking or felt nervous before a speech, SPLASH speaking will help you conquer your fear and forget about yourself.

Indeed, this is a hallmark of great speakers: They tend to forget about themselves and immerse their delivery in the needs of their audience. SPLASH speaking will teach you how to do this simply, immediately, and effectively.

There is much to learn, but becoming a better public speaker will help you in countless ways. So get ready to get wet—because a SPLASH is coming!

To purchase the book SPLASH! A Leader's Guide to Effective Public Speaking, click here.

[Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady]

Effective Public Speaking - Part 1

The following excerpt was taken from SPLASH! A Leader's Guide to Effective Public Speaking. [Foreword written by Chris Brady]

I sat in my little metal folding chair absolutely petrified. My hands were sweaty, my posture slumped, and I couldn’t hear a word the presenter was saying. All my faculties were consumed with the fear of my impending doom.

What was so downright terrifying?

I was about to give my first official public presentation! I was eighteen years old and an engineering co-op student at General Motors. More for our benefit than anything else, at the end of each semester, we co-op students were required to give a review of our work assignments and accomplishments that term.

They were despicable affairs, to be sure, with a dim little old-fashioned bulb-type overhead projector and amateur flimsies comprised of lots of really unimportant information. One by one, each victim would get up and grind through a horrid three minutes.

Soon it would be my turn.

My memory blanks at this point. Perhaps it’s some sort of protection mechanism, the kind of thing that eliminates our past tragedies from memory or at least preserves our self-image by refusing to remind us of times when we made complete fools of ourselves! At any rate, I can’t recall one detail about that presentation except for how scared I was beforehand.

This condition didn’t go away anytime soon, either. Year after year, we went through the same drill, and I was just as scared each time.

Fast forward to today, where I basically make my living speaking in front of audiences around the world. I give approximately fifty public talks a year to  audiences of all sizes and have been doing so (and often more) for almost twenty years. Now, I don’t even break a sweat. I am not only not scared by speaking in public; I actually relish each moment!

What happened?

If you’re like me at all, you probably can relate to the fear and trepidation I describe above. For some reason, most of us feel that way when we’re asked (or forced) to get up in front of a group and deliver any kind of message.

For me, the fear gradually dried up as I found myself in business for myself and confronted by the necessity of delivering information to other people through the spoken word. The proverbial “time on the water” did a lot to calm my nerves and make me feel comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. 

But overcoming the fear of public speaking is only one part of the equation. The second, much bigger consideration is to overcome the tendency that afflicts almost all public speakers at some point in their development—namely, that of being boring and ineffective. Sadly, it seems as if the vast majority of public presentations are somewhere between merely adequate and downright sleep-inducing. There are reasons for this.

In the book SPLASH, you will become acquainted with specific steps you can take to put together and deliver engaging, entertaining, informative, and inspiring public talks. You will be encouraged to practice your ability to speak in public (by doing it often—the only sure way to finally get rid of those nerves) and equipped with the principles and specifics of how to make your talks truly effective.

I am convinced that public speaking is something anyone can master. As with many other things in life, it doesn’t really matter where you start but only that you do actually start! And once you’ve thus begun, the goal is to improve as quickly as you can. Put the thoughts and concepts to work for you, and take your public speaking to a whole new level.

Finally, imagine a speaker getting ready for a major speech to a large audience in a full arena.

He feels no nerves, no worries. Instead, he is excited to share his message. As the time for his speech arrives, he gets ready to go onstage.

He listens to the current speaker, taking notes and thinking about how to apply what she’s saying to his own situation. When they call for the break, he smiles and stands up. A friend walks past and asks, “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” he asks curiously.

“For your speech?”

“Oh.” He is genuinely surprised.

“What are you going to speak about?” the friend asks while the technician attaches the microphone to the speaker’s belt and tie.

“I’ve got a new concept I want to share,” he says. Then he asks about his friend’s work and family. He hasn’t seen him for a while.

When the master of ceremonies reopens the convention, he pulls out his note cards and glances at his outline. He’s been through it so many times in his mind that he doesn’t get past the first line. He immediately starts thinking of better ways to share it.

He stops himself, puts the note cards into his briefcase, and then leaves it on the table. He walks to the side of the stage, ready to head up the stairs to speak. He can see part of the audience from his vantage point, and he can already feel their energy, which only adds to his own excitement to share this vital message with them. “I love this!” he says to himself. “I can’t imagine being anywhere I’d like better.”

“This is so much fun. I’m ready to speak.…”

And you will be too. This is the goal for great speakers, along with delivering a transformational speech that really makes a difference to everyone in the audience. This is what we call SPLASH speaking, and is something we can all work toward as speakers.

More to come...

To purchase the book SPLASH! A Leader's Guide to Effective Public Speaking, click here.

[Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady]

Stuff

You’ve got it. We’ve got it. Seems that nearly everyone’s got it—stuff, I mean. Stuff is the stuff that we have sitting around our houses, garages, and especially basements. Some people go so far as to have stuff stored in a separate facility across town, or at an in-law’s house strewn across their front yard, or at any number of Auxiliary Stuff Storage Locations.

Rich people have stuff, and usually lots of it. Interestingly, though, even poor people seem to have lots of stuff, although stuff of a lesser quality or luster. Young people have stuff, too, but old people generally have even more stuff (out-of-style stuff, to be sure). Before you’re even born, people are holding “showers” and giving you stuff. Each year you’ll celebrate your age, and they will give you more stuff. And after you’re gone, they’ll bicker over the stuff you’ve left behind.

In our own home, we have stuff stored behind other stuff. Some stuff sits on top of other stuff, while other stuff just hides behind stuff. Some stuff is stuffed behind stuff, while still other stuff is out on display. But the older we get, the more we live, the more stuff we seem to have.

It’s not all bad, really. Some stuff is pretty important. Take refrigerators, for instance. That’s the kind of stuff that we all need—what’s inside them, that is—and toilets and furniture and forks and cars and stamps and beds and a pretty huge, boring, and definitely too-long list of stuff that we actually need around.

But what drives me crazy is the rest of the stuff: the stuff that we just accumulate, like knick-knacks…tall ones and short ones, big ones and small, ugly ones and stylish things your wife got at the mall, dusty stuff and old stuff and broken stuff and kids’ stuff, pet stuff and loaned stuff and present stuff and forgotten stuff.

Whenever I hear about someone who likes to shop, I picture a big pile of stuff. Isn’t that really what shopping is, driving around trading money for more stuff? Drive it home and put it in amongst all your other stuff. And eventually, the total inventory of stuff gets quite overwhelming. This is because of the sticky nature of most stuff.

The most dangerous combination in a marriage is a shopper married to a pack rat. One makes a hobby out of buying stuff while the other refuses to part with stuff. The home of such a couple gets stuffed with stuff.

What can one do with all this stuff? Cram it and stuff it and store it and hide it. Or one can sell it. This is interesting because who in the world would want someone’s stuff when everybody already has more than enough stuff of their own? I know. It is a perplexing puzzle, but people with stuff actually buy the stuff of other people with stuff at events called garage sales (although garages are not for sale), yard sales, or auctions. People line up to buy your stuff. They are even willing to pay twenty-six cents for stuff that cost you $450.

Or, you can give away some stuff. Pack it and wrap it and box it and donate it. The taxman will even give you a credit for giving away the stuff. This is so you will have more money to buy more stuff, and the government can tax the purchases and get money to buy stuff of its own, such as $600 toilet seats and $345 screw drivers. Given this, it is easy to see why even the government has garage sales (called federal liquidations) once in while: to sell us the stuff they bought with the money they took from us when we bought our stuff. It’s a stuff cycle of perpetual renown.

And that brings me to recycling. This is a concept where other people express concern over what you do with your stuff. (They don’t care what you do with it while you possess it, only when you discard it.) They say some stuff should be ground up or melted or something and made into other stuff. It’s another stuff cycle.

It seems, now that I have taken such an in-depth, scientific look into the nature of stuff, that stuff is like a bad case of athlete’s foot—very difficult to get rid of. Take a trip someplace, and there your wife is packing up all of your stuff. There are your kids, fighting over stuff. There’s the robber, stealing someone’s stuff. There’s the envious, wanting another’s stuff. There’s the communist, confiscating stuff.

Try as you may through life, you will be forced to deal with stuff. Most of it looks pretty good when it’s new, but just becomes stuff in a very short while. Maybe that’s why they say the best stuff in life is stuff that’s not even stuff.

Sincerely, 

Chris Brady

Gossip and Defending Someone's Honor

The following excerpt was taken from EDGE, co-authored by Chris Brady and Orrin Woodward. 

We heard a great saying one time that went like this: “Don’t be like everyone else—even if you’re the only one.” This is especially true when it comes to talking about other people behind their backs.

In the course of life, it will be common to find yourself in situations in which people are gathered and discussing someone who is not present. This is fine, as long as what is being said is positive and nice. Many times, however, this won’t be the case. For some reason, people just love to drift toward the negative and point out everything they think is wrong about another person. This is a terrible, terrible habit and must be avoided by anyone who wants to live a worthy life and have great relationships.
Talking about others behind their back, gossiping about what they did or what they said, is like stealing; it’s stealing a portion of their good reputation. Perhaps people do this because they think that by tearing another person down, they somehow are making themselves look better. But remember: when you throw mud, you will always lose ground.

Instead, be the kind of person that refuses to speak ill of other people when they are not present. Even more so, become the one who defends those who are not present. Throw in a little, “Let’s not talk about Sally when she’s not here,” if things get out of control. You may think people will be slightly offended by you stopping their gossip train in such a way, but actually, deep down inside, they will be making a mental note that you are trustworthy and will likely defend them if anyone ever gossips about them.

Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady.

The Lesson of Initiative

The following excerpt was taking from Chris Brady's critically acclaimed book, Leadership Lessons from the Age of Fighting Sail.

One trait common to all leaders is initiative. Leaders don’t have to be told to do something. They don’t need managers above them. They don’t wait for all the lights to turn green before departing on a trip. Leaders don’t waste time waiting and wondering if they should act. They take responsibility and take action. There is an old line that there are three types of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened. Leaders are the ones in the first group making things happen.

A component in initiative is the courage to act. Another is decisiveness. Leaders display a willingness toward action, seeing what needs to be done and doing it without delay. Initiative is not to be confused with recklessness. Instead, it is a mixture of a spirit of enterprise, courage, and competent decisiveness.

What separates a leader from the rest is not only his ability to see what needs to be done but his unhesitating execution of it, even while others watch or deliberate. Leaders feel just as much trepidation as others, but they are able to muster the courage to press on anyway. This is why when the going gets tough, people look for a leader. They want someone with the courage to confront challenges and hit obstacles head on, thereby inspiring them to do the same. A leader absolutely must be courageous. As John C. Maxwell wrote, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” This cannot be done without courage.

There is a spirit of enterprise distinctive of all true leaders, who see what needs to be done and do it without hand-holding or waiting for orders. Action is a keystone of leadership.

The very concept of initiative stands upon the platform of accepting personal responsibility. Leaders function while called upon to make decisions in often confusing situations and possibly dangerous environments, without adequate time and/or information, making decisions to the best of their ability and then striving to make those decisions right. In short, leaders must be able to decide and then take full responsibility for their decisions.

The initiative of a leader also births creativity and ingenuity as the objective remains frozen and the means are molded toward its purpose.

Further, great leaders must have the grander picture in focus, being sure to serve the vision while serving their own interests and keeping the two aligned. This happens automatically when a leader acts according to the convictions of his or her character.

(Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady)

How to Deal with Difficult People

Have you ever had to deal with a difficult person in your life?

Of course you have! So, since we already know we will face difficult people, the question should really be, how do we do it?

First: Don’t be a difficult person yourself.

If you’re a negative, combative, and crabby person, chances are you won’t like being around yourself and others won’t either. Instead, earn a reputation of fairness. If you’re honest, firm, reliable, consistent, have emotional control, have courage, are loving, likable, forgiving, principled, strong, non-judgmental, and a ‘good-finder’ in people, then we would know for sure that the problem wasn’t you. 

However, even exhibiting all of these qualities won’t always help, even if you’re an angel. You are still going to run into “those” people. You could be in the best possible mood, your heart could be filled with charity for your fellow man, and then you run into “that” person.

Opposition is natural and healthy. If you’re going to amount to anything in life, there will be people out there who will oppose you. The higher your ideals, the larger your aspirations, and the more you want to accomplish, the more you will be opposed. The only way you can avoid opposition is to stand for nothing, to do nothing, to attempt nothing, and to be nothing. That’s just about as safe as it gets, but it’s also the most risky because it risks the wasting of the very life that carries it.

Second: Have discernment.

Here’s why: because everyone is difficult at times. Even occasionally you are more susceptible to it than at other times. Everybody has their bad moments and even you have times when the rock in your shoe will irritate you more than normal. It’s when these two overlap that we have the most trouble.

Third: Identify specific misbehavior types.

When addressing or dealing with difficult people, you may be at the mercy of some seriously intelligent manipulation. They’re going to confuse you and get you all turned around and inside out and will make it difficult for you to have a clear picture of the issues. Which is why it’s very important and helpful to have their specific misbehavior precisely identified so you can be very clear on what’s not right and what needs to be fixed, because conflict can get confusing.

Here are the top 10 specific misbehavior types:

1. Dishonesty/poor character/liar
2. Combativeness and objectionable behavior (overall difficult to get along with)
3. Passive-aggressive triangulation with political gossip
4. Prideful and selfish
5. Hurtful, mean, and callous
6. Bully/terrorist type behavior (silent treatment, always starting arguments, sabotage)
7. Addictions, out of control, unreliable
8. Poser/faker/phony
9. Unpredictable and bi-polar
10. Negative/complainer/critical

It’s important to know which 3 of these you’ll most likely exhibit from time to time because it will help you understand how to deal with and identify these behaviors in others.

So, here’s how to actually deal with difficult people:

• Don’t escalate issues.
• Don’t drop to their level - remain emotionally in control.
• Address problems head-on while they’re still small.
• Extend grace and don’t assign motives.
• Don’t give them a piece of your mind. Instead, give them a portion of your heart.
• Understand the different personality types.
• Remember this: LSMFT- Low Self-esteem Means Friction and Trouble.
• Apologize where you can and where you should.
• Never address controversy, hurt feelings, relationship problems, or challenges of any kind over voicemail, e mail, or text. 
• Attack the behavior, not the person.

Remember, reconciliation is the goal. Let them know you want to help, implement a fix, reach an agreement, check progress, and love them through the process. Figure out if you can help and then serve them. Sincerity mends a lot of fences.

All you really need are two things when dealing with difficult people: courage and love. We all tend one way or the other and it’s good to know which one you tend to. Do you tend to just love and forgive? Or do you tend to be courageous and stand to confront? Both are wonderful. However, if you tend more with one, you are really going to have to manufacture and work on the other; because you’re going to need both.

Lastly, if you have a choice in the matter, don’t entangle yourself with someone through a commitment if some type of obvious, consistent, systemic, bad behavior is on display. It’s one thing to serve them; it’s another to hook your wagon to theirs. In some instances, the best way to deal with difficult people is to put distance between them and you. There is a time when you break fellowship because you’ve done all you can do. Sometimes you need to be wise enough to see them coming, and then don’t allow them into your life.

To sort-of summarize:

• Don’t be a difficult person yourself! (If everybody did this one then this article would be unnecessary)
• Address the difficult situations head-on if you can.
• Ignore the crazy ones . . . and then serve.

Sincerely,

Chris Brady

You can also pick up the book, Dealing with Difficult People, from the Life Essentials Series, which will expand more on this topic.

The Scam of our Life: Our Smart Phone Culture

It's not that often that I use this blog for a rant, but today I just can't help it. After noticing the marked increase in the terrible affliction known as Left Lane Driving (LLD), and quickly discovering its cause, I can no longer remain quiet. The culprit in the growth of this virus is also responsible for lameness in relationships, terrible posture, squinty eyes, and a near pandemic of teenaged girls standing in unnatural poses in front of bathroom mirrors.

What could possibly by the cause of these varied and seemingly unrelated ailments?

Smart phones.

In this work I will seek to establish the so-called "smart phone" as the bane of our modern existence. I will show how it has invaded our lives and changed almost everything about how we behave, interact with each other, and spend our time.

Here are just some of the odd human behaviors that have resulted from the proliferation of smart phones in our society:

1. People look at their phones almost constantly while driving.  I HATE this one. As if folks (not including myself, of course, as I am an excellent driver, AND I would never group myself into any category named "folks") aren't bad enough drivers without an addiction to a small rectangular distraction device. Take a small survey for yourself. Next time you are out driving a dangerous, fast, heavy, mostly-metallic contraption called a car, notice how many people are doing so while looking down at their phones, as if there is nothing dangerous about it, as if looking away from what they are doing doesn't threaten the lives of everyone around them in serious ways. This is really common at intersections, in which lights can turn green and cars just sit there waiting for someone to honk, except that more and more there is nobody to honk, because everyone is looking down at their phones. It has been known to happen that entire green lights have gone unused by clueless zombies texting nothing more important than "lol."

2. People ignore each other by instead being engrossed in that little screen.  Go into any restaurant, coffee shop, airport, or waiting room and what will you see? People who are supposedly together who are anything but together.  "Together" now means nothing more than occupying adjacent space. It certainly doesn't mean conversation, or eye contact, or true listening. I can pick up three or four teenaged boys and drive them all the way across the state to a soccer match and won't hear a thing for hours.  Why? Because they are all playing something on their phones, or "liking" something posted somewhere, or posting something for someone else to "like."  It's even more embarrassing (for them) to see "couples" sitting at a restaurant table clicking away on their phones and not interacting at all, except maybe to show a meaningless video or post to the other person for a quick laugh or smirk.  Deep. Have you ever had anyone get into the car with you and as soon as they hit the passenger seat they immediately get out their phone and start tapping away, ignoring you for miles and miles?  

3. People now multi-task during almost every waking hour. Just watch teenagers today. For most of them, it is so natural to multi-task that they can almost never be caught doing only one thing at once.  And what could be so important that it would be allowed to intrude into meals, conversations, movie watching, etc. etc? Looking at their smart phones, of course.  Group chats, texts, social media posts and replies, all add up to minute-by-minute interruptions that our young ones take as natural. There is a complete lack of singleness and focus in our smart phone culture, and we've become interruptible to the point of lunacy.

4. The smart phone slouch. There is a certain posture that goes along with smart phone fixation: hand slightly extended forward, elbow bent, head forward, neck bent downward.  It's the smart phone slouch.  This is most easily spotted (in fact, try to avoid seeing it) in airports.  Nine out of ten people are standing in the smart-phone-slouch position, fixated on their screens.

5. The smart phone conversation. This is the loud talking smart phone user who pollutes the air around him with the noise of his conversation, shouted into the phone as if the person on the other end is deaf. This, thankfully, has become slightly more rare as texting has taken over.  At least when people text all the time their slouching is quiet.

6. Ridiculous response time expectation.  I once had someone ask me if I was mad at them because I didn't respond to their text within an hour. Now mind you, I don't fight terrorists, I am not involved in any emergency rescue operations, and nothing I do professionally can't wait a few hours here and there. Why was this person so expectant of a quick response? Because such fast (nearly immediate) reaction times are now so common as to become the norm. Our availability has become dictated by a secret enemy called "smart phone culture" which demands we be on-hand, ready to respond, all the time and any time.

 

Here are some questions to ponder:

1. How did this happen to us?

2. Did we give it permission to happen or did it sneak in unawares?

3. Assuming that all the good things smart phones can do for us outweigh the bad we've been considering, how can we at least control our addiction to them a little?

4. Where does it go from here?

5. How much worse can it get?

6. What might be the long term ramifications of such a radical shift in how we humans interact (or don't) with each other?

7. Why do teenaged girls stand like that in front of their mirrors while taking pictures of themselves?

8. And finally, who is John Galt?

Sincerely,

Chris Brady

 

 

A Hero's Freedoms and Freedom's Heroes

Author Paul Johnson wrote, “How do we recognize the heroes and heroines of today?

First, by absolute independence of mind, which springs from the ability to think everything through for yourself, and to treat whatever is the current consensus on any issue with skepticism. 

Second, having made up your mind independently, to act – resolutely and consistently. 

Third, to ignore or reject everything the media throws at you, provided you remain convinced you are doing right.

Finally, to act with personal courage at all times, regardless of consequences to yourself.”

Freedom means different things to different people. Just hearing the word can evoke images of Americana, political rallies, partisanship, hotly debated issues, and harsh feelings. It can also call up warm stirrings of apple pie and Fourth of July celebrations.  But I believe the concept of freedom is well embodied in Paul Johnson’s quote above. For what is freedom if it is not felt at the individual level? And in exercising those four traits any individual would be living at a very high level of freedom indeed. But even more than how freedom is received, those four traits of a hero may be a huge key to how freedom is preserved. I would suggest that free societies can only result from, and be maintained by, such people.

Not everyone, though, will be such a person. From Sturgeon’s Law (as recently written about in Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille’s latest best seller Leadershift), we know not to expect more than maybe 10%. As Peter Shift said in a recent radio interview with Oliver DeMille, “that may even be very optimistic.” But we don’t need everyone.  We only need some . . .

Some who will think independently and decide on real issues for themselves.

Some who will act resolutely and consistently with those thoughts.

Some who will ignore and reject the “official story” and the programming of the agenda-laden media.

And finally, some who will act with personal courage regardless of the cost.

Freedom allows this type of living, but it also requires it. 

Will you be a hero?

Sincerely,

Chris Brady

 

 

 

(This article kicks off a planned series of installments to be taken from a talk I gave on a recent book signing tour with Orrin Woodward through the central United States. Of course, this good intention could be thwarted by any number of distractions, including but not limited to national emergencies, flash flood conditions at Lake Gaston, manuscript publication deadlines, leadership conference preparation, and possibly even lunch. The reader’s patience, as always, is a necessary quality for participation in this blog, and of course, is greatly appreciated.)

 

Viva la Viewpoint!

"The government is best which governs least," is a statement often erroneously attributed to Thomas Jefferson. Although he likely would have agreed, the statement cannot be found in any of his writings. It is, however, plainly written by Henry David Thoreau:

 

I heartily accept the motto,—“That government is best which governs least;” and I should like to see it acted up to more rapidly and systematically. Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which I also believe,—“That government is best which governs not at all;” and when men are prepared for it, that will be the kind of government which they will have. Government is at best but an expedient; but most governments are usually, and all governments are sometimes, inexpedient.

—Thoreau, Civil Disobedience

 

The trend of today seems to run counter to the words of Thoreau and the inclinations of Jefferson. We see a citizenry taught to worship it's government and to not only depend upon, but demand from it all manner of "services" not natural to it. Somewhere along the line Americans have switched from rugged individualism to radical governmentalism. 

The truth is, however, that governments only do one thing well: grow in power. Over time, they creep in their reach and gain in their control. Nothing is more natural for a bereaucracy than to add to itself like coral growing on a reef. Over time the accumulation grows big enough to block the waves of freedom and leave instead a pool of slack water.

Government interference in human affairs (beyond its basic responsibility for protection against enemies domestic and abroad) depends upon several factors and participants. In an attempt to make the process of the loss of freedom more recognizable, perhaps the following list will be helpful:

1. Viewpoint - this is the inflexible dogma of government control in one area or another that motivates the behaviors of the Valiant.

2. Valiant - these are the champions of the Viewpoint, the schemers who push it on everyone else "for their own good."

3. Victims - those who are being somehow unfairly treated and are therefore entitled to a special benefit from the government

4. Villains - anyone who does not pledge blind loyalty to the Viewpoint

5.  Verifiers (or Validators) - the idealists who preach the Viewpoint as though it is the most obvious truth in the world

6. Vassals - students in many schools and particular universities who become indoctrinated into the Viewpoint

7. Voters - sheep to be manipulated to vote for the Viewpoint no matter how harmful it may be to them. 

8. Vandals - those who write any opinion against the Viewpoint

9. Vanishing - what happens to freedom when the Viewpoint takes firm foothold in a nation

10. Vanity - all human effort to establish a perfect world outside of God's laws and grace

Viva la Viewpoint!

Sincerely,

Chris Brady